I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
