Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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