so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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