We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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