where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize