Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
