After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
