3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
