I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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