I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
