you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
