WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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