toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
