my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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