it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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