Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
