no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
