if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
