So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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