i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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