last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
