Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
