It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
