I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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