He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
