why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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