Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
