I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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