I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
