We named our party play list daddy issues
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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