just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
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