my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
