you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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