I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
