conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
