I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
