You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
they're like a gay fantastic four
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
