so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
