If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Nicole vs. Life
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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