it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
