Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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