sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
