babies were throwing up all over the place
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
