the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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