been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
