She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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