i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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