I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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