found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Why is your signature on my underwear?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
