we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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