my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
