is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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